August 20, 2017

Is It I?

For the past week or so I have been struggling emotionally. I have felt incredibly lonely which in turn has caused me to feel depressed. I started reflecting on my life and I realized that all of my really good friends live out-of-state. Those people who live close to me that I thought were friends have really let me down.

Have you ever made plans with someone and then when it comes time to execute said plans they won't answer the phone or show up? Have you ever text or called someone and they never got back to you? This has happened to me more times recently than I would like to count.

While at the library this week for story time, I tried chatting it up with two other moms but the one made it very obvious that she didn't want to talk to me. I got in my car and was on the verge of tears, when I realized that Heavenly Father blessed me with a beautiful little boy who is always by my side.

Some days though I wish my sidekick could talk with me and say more than "Dada." Some days I wish I had a friend to hike with, laugh with and occasionally cry with. 

I started questioning myself- Is there something wrong with me that people don't want to be my friend? Do I smell bad? Do I have food in my teeth? Am I weird? I've been assured by those closest to me that there is nothing wrong with me that people are just flaky.

Needless to say, I am in need of some new friends. Hopefully I will cross paths with someone soon.

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