November 7, 2018


As a parent, I think it is normal to wonder if your child is developing at "the normal rate." Sometimes I worry because Bubba doesn't say much. But, he understands a ton and he knows how to communicate what he wants quite well.

Everyday, we read books together. Bubba picks out the books he wants to read and we read them. As we read, he points to all sorts of objects in the pictures. It is my job to tell him what the objects are. Recently, I decided it would be fun to see what he would do if I told him the wrong name for the object he was pointing at. He knew I told him the wrong name and he refused to move his finger from the picture until I said the right name. I'm telling you he is a smart little boy.

Each morning while we eat breakfast together I read a few pages out of a church book. The other day as I was reading, I turned the page and there was a picture of Christ. Bubba smiled and he pointed to Christ. He wanted to know who Christ was. I told him that was a picture of Jesus, he immediately said, "Jesus" in his cute little voice. We flipped through the remainder of the book looking for photos of Christ, each time we came across a photo of the Savior I would ask Bubba who that was. He would point at Christ and say, "Jesus."

This morning Bubba picked up my book and started flipping through it looking for pictures of Christ. He was having a hard time finding a picture, but he kept saying Jesus. I saw this as a teaching moment, we opened the book and looked at every picture in it. He would point and I would tell him what was going on. 

I'm so proud of my little boy, even though he doesn't say much, he is learning. He has come to recognize who the Savior is and it makes me so happy. I hope that as he grows so does his love of learning and love of the Lord.

October 15, 2018

Depression While Pregnant

I had an experience at the bottom of the wave about a week or so ago that was pretty rough that I wanted to talk about.

After someone has a baby, the doctors are very concerned about the mama's mental health. Each time you go in for a check up they ask you a series of questions about how your doing emotionally. What they are looking for is signs and symptoms of postpartum depression.

When I was pregnant with Bubba, I struggled with depression. Andy knew about it, but he was really the only person who knew. I was embarrassed and ashamed to feel depressed while pregnant. It seems as though when you're pregnant there is this expectation that you should be elated and happy all of the time, this wasn't the case for me. 

While in the hospital one of the nurses read through my file and said that she recommended that I get on an antidepressant. She told me that she had been on one for 17 years and that is helped her a ton. I'm not one who likes to pop pills and I declined.

Thankfully I didn't struggle with postpartum depression, I just struggled with depression while pregnant.

Several months after I had Bubba, we took him in to see the chiropractor. The chiropractor asked all kinds of questions about my pregnancy, labor and delivery. When I mentioned that I struggled with depression during my pregnancy, he asked if I had taken fish oil. I told him no- I hate sea food. He informed me that a lack of fish oil while pregnant can cause depression. I began taking fish oil supplements that day and have been taking them ever since.

This pregnancy the depression has thankfully been almost non-existent. The other day though, it hit and it hit hard. It was probably the worst experience with depression I have ever had. I felt so completely worthless and empty inside. I recognized the depression for what it was and kept looking at the clock, I knew I had to make it just a few hours and then Andy would be home. As soon as he walked in the door I asked him for a blessing. Instantly, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me.

We went to the park as a family and stopped to talk to a few neighbors on the way home. They asked how I was doing and I told them. Both neighbors gave me the biggest hugs and talked with me for a little while. When I finally made it home, I felt a lot better.

Each time the depression tried to creep back in, the words of a hymn entered my mind, "Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace? When other sources cease to make me whole." and the feelings of depression would fade.

I am so grateful for a husband who holds the Priesthood and who is able to give blessings in time of need. I know that the Lord is aware of each and everyone of us. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses as well as our struggles. If we turn to Him, He will help us.

I know that depression is something that a lot of people struggle with on a regular basis, my heart goes out to them. Hang in there, there is hope. Please let someone know of your struggle, you don't have to suffer alone. I'm grateful for fish oil and that the only times I seem to struggle with depression are while I am pregnant-- and that it is for such a short season of life.

On a side note. When I was in the OB office this past week, there was a sign that said that something like 16% of women struggle with depression while they are pregnant.

October 10, 2018

A Much Needed Break

We have been working really hard around our house trying to finish up a huge list of things before Andy's surgery and before baby #2 makes its debut. When we learned that Andy was going to have a four day weekend, we knew we needed to take a much needed break.

Friday was dedicated to working on projects. And Friday night was dedicated to going on a date. We went to a semi-haunted corn maze. The theme for the maze was Harry Potter. We came across a few dementors and Andy cast a patronus charm to get rid of them. After getting severely turned around in the maze we pulled out the map so we could reach each of the different check points.

When Dad lets you run around with a $3 price tag on your head.

Saturday morning we watched General Conference. I love General Conference. I look forward to hearing from the leaders of the Church and receiving a spiritual boost. We had heard rumors that church might be shortened to two hours, we were really surprised to learn that the rumors were true. We are looking forward to the two hour block, having a young child at church for three hours on Sunday has not been an easy thing for us. We are looking forward to spending more time together as a family on Sundays.

After the morning session, we hopped in the car and headed to the coast. We took Bubba to see the Yaquina Head Lighthouse and the tide pools during low tide. He wasn't really interested in the light house or the tide pools. He was really excited though to throw rocks into the ocean that was his favorite part. He got upset when we had to leave and kicked his rain boot into the ocean, thankfully Andy was able to retrieve it before it was sucked out to sea.

Tide pool.

The next morning we took Bubba swimming in the hotel pool, he absolutely loved it! Then we took a nap as a family and decided to go hiking in the rain. We had heard there was a really cool hike (Drift Creek Falls) near Newport and figured since we were out there, we might as well try it out. The hike was 2.5 miles round trip. We hiked through a beautiful forest, crossed a suspension bridge and saw a waterfall. Andy and I loved being out in nature and crossing the suspension bridge. Bubba's favorite part was the waterfall, he kept pointing and saying, "bubble." Right now he says bubble anytime he sees water.

I love Andy's facial expression in this photo.

Monday morning we went to the aquarium, once again it was raining. We thought Bubba would love the fish, sea lions and otters, but we were wrong. He loved playing on the playground in the rain and pointing at the cutouts in the floor at the shark exhibit and saying, "bubble." He had a great time and that's all that matters.

These piranhas were a sparkly gold color, so pretty!

He is always climbing on something.

Then we began our journey back to Eugene for an OB appointment. As we were driving though the farmland we passed a barn that had a big sign hanging on it that said, "If you're pregnant, it's a boy." I started laughing and told Andy that apparently we are having a boy, when I told him why he laughed too. Time will tell. We are really just hoping that delivery goes smoothly and baby arrives safely.

Doctors appointment went well, got a few shots. Other than that not much to report.

On our way home we stopped at the pumpkin patch to pick out a few pumpkins. Bubba enjoyed riding in the wheel barrow and was really interested in the tractors. As for the pumpkins, he wasn't very interested in those.

As for General Conference, I did listen to a few of the talks while we were on our trip. One talk given by my favorite apostle really resonated with me. I don't want to say which talk it was or who the apostle was, just that I have been going through the hardest trial of my life for several years now and this apostle's words echoed the things I have been dealing with. It was nice to hear words on a topic that is so seldomly addressed. As to President Nelson's challenge to the women of the Church, I think it's wonderful and I am super excited! I can't wait to finish listening to the rest of the messages.

October 9, 2018

Waves Of Life

It's been awhile since I have been able to sit down and write about life. I have been thinking a lot lately about how life is like a wave. As we go through life we have our ups and our downs, we experience joy and pain, happiness and sadness. It is my belief that as we experience the lows that come with hard times we have a greater appreciation for the good times. The last several weeks we have been at what we will call the bottom of the wave.

Someone takes after Mom and likes to brush their teeth.

The First Wave

Andy, Bubba and I all caught a nasty virus that we like to call the plague. The plague lasted nearly three weeks. Life was more or less put on hold and we just survived. When the plague came on Andy was in the middle of making some major changes to the computer system at work. He was working 12-15 hour days and was sometimes up in the middle of the night trying to fix something that failed, I think the crazy hours finally caught up with him because he ended up missing several days of work.

The symptoms of the plague were all over the board: fever, nausea, vomiting, severe sinus pressure, headache, sore throat, extreme fatigue, dizziness and feeling incoherent.

Before we knew we had the plague we hiked up Spencer's Butte, it took awhile to get to the top but we did it. It was nice to get outside and enjoy the fall weather.

When you're pregnant and your exercise clothes no longer fit, you wear your husbands.

Other than hiking the butte, we have pretty much been hunkered down at home.

The Second Wave

Earlier this year Andy went to see our family doctor because he snores a lot. His snoring has become so bad that Bubba wakes up screaming in the middle of the night (our rooms share a wall) and I have had to ask Andy to go sleep in the office.

The doctor didn't think Andy's snoring was a big deal but at Andy's request she sent him to see an ENT and referred him to the hospital for a sleep study. Andy has met with the ENT a few times now and learned that he has a deviated septum (which is why he can't breath out his nose) and he learned that he has extra large blood vessels in his nose which cause lots of nose bleeds-- luckily both of these things are correctable with surgery. The ENT didn't want to make any definitive plans or decisions though until we had the results of the sleep study.

We received the results of the sleep study and they weren't good. Andy quits breathing an average of 48 times an hour and his oxygen level drops significantly when he sleeps. It was highly recommended that he get a CPAP machine.

We did some research and weighed the pros and the cons. We didn't know that sleep apnea is such a dangerous thing and that it causes added strain to the heart-- kind of scary to think about. The CPAP machine will be coming this week and surgery will be taking place about 2 weeks before my due date. It's a lot of unexpected change all at once.

We had budgeted earlier this year for the cost of my labor and delivery, but Andy's surgery (he will have to stay overnight in the hospital because of the added risks of the sleep apnea) and CPAP machine were not part of our budget. We are dreading the thousands of dollars worth of bill that will be headed to our mailbox soon, but we know that our health and well being is worth more than the costs. We also know that somehow, things always workout. The Lord is always mindful of us and our needs.

Bubba loves garbage cans. Every time he sees one he says, "Eww. Yucky."

Hopefully a third wave isn't headed our way anytime soon. Knock on wood.