Out Of The Mouth Of Babes: Anatomy

I'm sure every parent goes through a phase when their children start to notice that Mommy or Daddy has different body parts then them. This is the stage/phase Bubba is in right now. Out of nowhere he will say:

"I have peepee. Mommy you no have peepee. Daddy and Baby ****** they have peepee."

"Mommy you have two big boobs. I have two little boobs." When he says this he often lifts up his shirt and points to his nipples. It's really funny!

"I think my peepee might be coming out."  He says this right before he races to the bathroom to take care of business.

Since we're talking about the bathroom, I don't want to forget this gem.

We have locks on our toilets to keep Bear Cub out of them. Bubba will run to the bathroom, I unlock the toilet and Bubba says, "Baby ****** no fall in the toilet" Andy taught him that he needs to keep his brother out of the toilet. It is my job to then shut the bathroom door and he takes are of business. He sits down to do any and all business (mom win!). One day last week, we went through our normal routine and he started freaking out. Somehow while sitting down, he managed to pee all over his face and hair. He was so upset. I thought it was hilarious! I didn't know what to do, I was trying to take care of Bear Cub at that precise moment. I grabbed Andy and he came to my aid.

In The Toilet: Round 2

It was almost like watch the scene unfold in slow motion a second time. Once again Bubba found himself sitting on the toilet-- this time though it was the master bathroom toilet (it's his favorite place to take care of business). Some toy cars were scattered on the floor, this tends to happen as the day goes on, we pick them up every night before the boys go to bed.

He had just finished using the bathroom. He was sitting on the toilet and he reached back to flush it. Bear was standing nearby. Bear picked a toy car up off the floor. Ran full speed ahead to the toilet and he chucked that toy car in the toilet faster than I could stop him.

Thankfully this car was a mini and it went down without a hitch. Poor Bubba though, he cried and whined all day for the yellow Dinoco car.

We are now working on teaching Bubba to shut the door when he uses the bathroom so that brother can't throw more toys down the toilet.

In The Toilet

Bubba is potty trained! Woot! Woot! He's been fully potty trained for a few months now. I'm so proud of him! It's nice not having two kids in diapers, plus it saves us some money.

Yesterday, first thing in the morning Bubba went in to use the bathroom. Daddy and Bear were with him. Using the bathroom is sometimes a family affair around here.

We taught Bubba to sit down when he pees (Mom win). He had just gone potty and was still sitting on the toilet. He reached to flush the toilet and at that precise moment his toy train car, Annie fell into the flushing toilet. I was in the next room over and heard Bubba go ballistic and Andy told me what happened.

I called and talked with my Dad briefly, my brother used to flush everything down the toilet as a kid. My Dad thought that if we took the toilet apart we would find the train.

We said a prayer that we would find Annie and then I asked Andy to take the toilet apart. He took the toilet apart alright and there was no train car to be found. Bubba was devastated. For him, it was like watching his best friend die and not being able to say good bye.

A look of defeat.

Snuggles for Mom.

We've been quarantining at home and I knew I had to go to the hardware store to get a new wax seal so we could put the toilet back together. I opted to run into the grocery store really quickly on my way to the hardware store to see if they might have anymore Annie train cars for sale. Luck was on my side, there was one left on the shelf. I grabbed that thing and quickly got myself back into the car and sanitized.


Bubba was so happy when I got home. He kept saying, "Annie went down the pipe. Annie's going to be fertilizer." "Mommy, you brought me a knew Annie."

Bubba's new Annie to give you an idea how big this train car is.

Update:

Annie is still stuck in the toilet somewhere. Our toilet won't flush and overflowed this week. We haven't figured out how we are going to fix it yet.

Perils Of Potty Training

Oh the stories I could tell you about poop and pee. Potty training has been kicking my butt or should I say my house and my patience.

Most of Bubba's friends are potty trained. My mommy friends shared with me a guide to potty train your kids in 3 days. They warned me that it took more like 2 weeks for them and after 2 weeks their kids regressed and they had to push through that.

I read about 20% of the 50 page guide and thought, this seems straight forward lets go for it. Up to this point Bubba was still wearing a diaper but he was keeping it dry the entire day. So we made the switch to underwear-- I made sure they were underwear he liked, Thomas The Train.

The first two weeks he did great! We didn't have any accidents going potty (aka pee) in the toilet. Except for the time we were using a public bathroom/changing room for swim lessons and I didn't hold his penis down and pee shot over the toilet and onto the floor, I got peed on and Bear was making a beeline for the pile of urine on the floor.

Or the time we went to story time and we went to use the bathroom before we headed home. I held his penis down and pee shot through the gap between the top of the toilet and toilet seat soaking Bubba's leg and leaving a pile of pee on the ground and pee on my boots.

Or how about the time he decided he wasn't going to pee in the toilet that day. Instead he peed all over my new living room rug not once, but twice. He peed all over my kitchen chair and pee ran  down the chair like a waterfall collecting in a pile of the floor. And he pooped in my closet-- we are still working on pooping in the toilet. He has only pooped in the toilet once so far. I've got a lot of poop stories but we will save those for another day.

This last day was probably the hardest of them all. I'd ask him to come use the bathroom and he would just pee instantly where he was. I can't tell you how many pairs of underwear we went through. I washed socks, shirts and pants. In addition to scrubbing my floors, chair, rug, etc. All I did was clean up pee the entire day.

I finally told Bubba that if he couldn't stop peeing his clothes that he couldn't wear any clothes. I took all of his clothes away except for his underwear and told him he had to earn them back by going pee in the toilet. When he peed on my kitchen chair, I told him he could sit on the floor to eat. Chairs were a privileged and if he was going to pee on them, he couldn't sit in them. He lost his coveted blanket. Next on the chopping block were his toys.

Bubba spent most of the day in his underwear. Just before nap time he peed in the toilet-- miracle!!! I told him he could have one thing back and I let him pick. He picked his socks. This boy insists on wearing socks all the time. When I went to tuck him in he asked for his blanket. I was firm and I told him he had only earned one thing back and he chose his socks. He started to whine and I offered to trade him. He took his socks off and I gave him his blanket. He napped in underwear and a blanket. Just as bed time approached he earned his last piece of clothing back. He hasn't had an accident since. Knock on wood.

Here's hoping pooping in the toilet gets better.

He does great staying dry and night. And he does get potty treats.