May 5, 2019

I Bore My Testimony

I bore my testimony over the pulpit at church. To most people bearing their testimony doesn't seem like that big of a deal, for me though, it's a HUGE deal. I have a testimony and it burns within my soul. I can share my testimony on paper or in small group settings just fine. But when it comes to sharing my testimony over the pulpit that's another story. I get scared, the adrenaline starts pumping, I start sweating and my thoughts feel disconnected and all over the place and when I am done I feel dumb, stupid and like a bumbling idiot.

When I was struggling postpartum I knew that I wanted to share my testimony in church but that it would be sometime before I would have the chance. I am one who stays home from church for three months after I give birth to help keep my new babies from contracting the illnesses that seem to be spread and contracted at church during the winter. And then when I am at church I often end up in the mother's room nursing a baby. This month though, I knew I needed to share my testimony.

A few days earlier in the week Andy informed me that he would have to head into work Sunday at 3:30 am and likely would not be home in time for church. My heart sank because I knew there was no way that I could bear my testimony with both boys and nobody to help me with them (we sit in the back row).

At 10:00 am Sunday morning Andy walked in the door. He was debating about going to church or going to bed and decided to come to church. I knew today was my day and did it. I marched up to that pulpit and I bore my testimony with Bubba in my arms. Although scary, I faced my fear and that felt good.